Obviously, I have been going about things the wrong way.
I haven't managed to save and I have even added more debt. Granted, quite a few things went wrong lately that reduced the income (tenant issues/eviction/lack of rental income/reduced hours at work). But that is still no excuse.
I need a more detailed budget plan. The trouble is I would start a budget and be great at keeping it until a few months later, where it would float away and I'd remain in denial bliss.
I have a life partner with whom I have been supporting for the last 6 years. He hasn't worked for the last two years and before that, he worked at a minimum wage job. I fell in love with the "wrong" man as everyone in my family had pointed out.
Great news, though! Read more!
He just got a job! It doesn't pay well but anything coming in would help me greatly in this current situation.
I realized that it is really my fault that I had allowed him to degrade himself from a man to a boy by sharing my home, food, and income with him with no cost or responsibility.
So, I have decided (I know it should have been sooner) that he knows about when all the bills are due and how much is due. He must know about how much debt I am carrying and I must involve him on figuring out an attack plan on this debt. If anything, this will lessen the fights over me "restricting" him on what he wants to buy or experiment with if he is aware of how bad the money situation really is. That "Cubeworld" video game would not look as tempting to him as it does now, I'm hoping.
Luckily, he has agreed to planning a budget and yesterday, he surprised me a couple of bill tracking logs (one is a monthly tracker and the other is a yearly tracker for more erratic bills such as gym membership/auto insurance/etc). Now, it is up to me to sit with him and show him all the bills, due dates, amounts, and debt!
If we can not forge a team to work on a budget and to help each other stick to it, I do not think that I can keep on being in this relationship, even though I deeply still care for him. I can no longer believe that he is in this relationship because he loves me but only because he needs a place to stay, food to eat, and a provider who will pay for his books, clothes, and needs.
I am excited to start on this new stage of the relationship. I am excited to have his monetary contribution to help with the budget as well. Finally, I am more motivated to get my head out of the ground and look forward to a healthier life and relationship.
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